So, I’ve used this to respond to a few other comparable quota concerns already but I really do seem like this is a fine example of what anxiety feels like which might help you see the signs of anxiety.
So to answer this question I am going to attach a couple of pages that I wrote when I was badly depressed a few years earlier. These pages are really individual, but I feel like it reveals a fine example of how someone struggling with depression seems like …
The darkness consumes her from every angle. She tries to hide but there is no place for her to go. There is no escaping the black hole that is about to completely consume her. She is too worn out to combat, all her remaining energy had actually vanished long in the past. She felt totally helpless, miserable, and powerless, but there was absolutely nothing she could do to get away from her unending fate. A cycle that she could never break for the rest of her life.
She does her best to hide her struggles but the individual closest to her can constantly inform. She is afraid that they understand excessive, that the darkness will scare them away. She does not wish to bring them down with her. She is afraid that she will harm them. She subconsciously presses them away. She understands that it’s incorrect and she is only injuring them more, but she can’t help however think about the problem she is and how no matter what occurs, she will constantly be that way.
She does not want to bring anyone down with her, It would not be fair. She dislikes the method she feels. “What is fine anyway?” She asks herself. She puts on a smiling face for everyone else to see, while the storm inside rages inside ruining her day by day. Her happiness, when it exists is situational. It does not stay. She wishes it would. She cries every night when nobody else is around. The darkness has actually taken control of. She doesn’t comprehend any of it. Why does this have to be her life?
Individuals don’t understand what she is going through. They do not understand how to respond. They keep their distance and she feels … ISOLATED, ALONE, UNLOVED. Even individuals who like her don’t understand how to respond, just making things worse.
She questions if it is unavoidable. If nobody can handle what she is going through. Her life has had lots of struggles. Her experiences limited. Her joy undetermined from day to day. Yet once again she understands that cycle will never change. It is endless and unchangeable. There is some relief, but that relief brings upon her it’s own type of darkness. Her life will never be typical. The darkness will follow her no matter how hard, how quick she attempts to run. She often contemplates whether it’s even worth it to live the rest of her life in this much discomfort. She wonders if it is worth it to begin a household when the darkness looms around her like if they get too close she could bring individuals she appreciates most down with her.
Nothing about her life ever seems to go. Her household is frightened of her past and the injuries never entirely healed. They scream and shout and it plunges her down farther and further into the black abyss. Often she hopes that she might just die in some tragic event, or possibly someone would abduct her and murder her for no genuine factor.
She wishes to scream “I’m not alright” however she has nobody to scream it to. Nobody understands. She does not desire options to her problems, things that MAY make her feel better. She does not want people to attempt to make her happy. She simply wishes to FEEL OKAY. She isn’t sure how to even inform what fine is. She hasn’t felt that way in so long, if ever.
How can she ask somebody to deal with this, with her? It isn’t fair. It’s not their issue, it’s her’s. She needs to deal with it alone like she has been for rather a long time. Even when they attempt to fix her it only helps so much. Yeah she has the ability to operate now and she isn’t completely psychological, but that does not alter the reality that she continuously seems like crap. Is that actually any method to live a life? Is it even worth it? She wants she might just vanish into the darkness that surrounds her. She wants she had the ability to conceal the reality that she is injuring so terribly. She tries to do the very best she can however some days she doesn’t have the energy to fake a smile. Some days she wishes that she didn’t need to talk with anyone. That she could simply be left alone. Left for dead. The days she does have some energy it is totally taken in with fabricating her happiness.
She does not want individuals to see her as an unpleasant person. She dislikes that she is always worrying people. She doesn’t wish to always look like she has a problem.
If they knew the extent of her struggles would they run? Will they grow further and farther apart the more she reveals? The worse it gets? Will they get s No one could ever make it through a drop like that? She isn’t even sure she can survive her life now, however losing the individual she appreciates a lot of would definitely destroy her.
Survival is type in her life. Her entire life all she has actually been attempting to do is survive. It’s truthfully remarkable that she has actually made it through as long as she could thinking about the truth that the darkness had completely and totally taken over a few times, although it never technically been successful with its actions. She knows she is strong, but she constantly feels so damn weak! ~ Maddie
I wrote this when I remained in the middle of a deep anxiety and I was in a very bad place. I don’t think I even realized how bad it was up until quite sometime in the future, but I feel like this is a very good example on how anxiety feels, at least a fine example of how I felt when I was depressed. I am doing much better now. It has actually been 2 years given that I composed this and I have actually been through a lot given that this was composed. I hope this helps address your question.