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I used to be in the same situation as u. All these other answers are bullshit. My parents were truly toxic and mean to me everyday. They caused me depression and anxiety and even occasionally hurt me. U can’t just put up with their shit like that. The second I turned 18 I moved out. I had known I wanted to move out since I was 13 so here is what I did. I got myself a part time job. My parents were super against me working and bringing in money for myself, so I worked 2 hours a day after school and told them I was at tutorials or the library or at a friends house for 3 years. I got fired from quite a few jobs bc of my very non flexible schedule, but I had a bunch of money by the time I was 18, so it was totally worth it. I also applied for as many colleges and scholarships and student loans as I possibly could. Getting into a good college and getting part scholarships was not super hard for me as I had pretty good grades and I was in NJHS and I was on my schools volleyball A team. Yes, it was a lot of work and it was a lot for a teenage girl to handle, but I would rather juggle studying and work and volunteering and volleyball than be stuck with those bitches for the rest of my life. I did have an advantage though. I had a friend who I was super close with who was in the same situation as me except she was two years older. She was a student at NYU who gave me a lot of advice as well as a place to stay over the summer until the semester started and I could go to college. I got a job once school started on campus and only ate ramen for like a year. Now I am a dentist and I have my own office in LA as well as a huge house and am getting married next summer (hopefully,if Coronas gone). I wouldn’t have been able to have any of this if I had taken the easy rod and stayed with my parents. If I had listened to them I would still be living with them, being bullied by them, going to college in Texas and getting married to some guy they arranged me with. So don’t let a little thing like money get in your way. I mean one dollar ramen isn’t that bad, right? Lol
A very good friend of mine had a daughter who had the same dilemma. She thought about her situation, not as a problem, but a problem she could solve. Her goal was to find accommodations in exchange for something. Her first opportunity led to eventually affording to buy a small condo. Here is what she did:
- scoured all of the local paper to find what would fulfill her needs.
- she separated the scams from the possibilities.
- She approached this with same zeal as finding a job.
- The result, she found a funeral home that required an evening attendant to live in a beautiful apartment in exchange for fielding calls for families requiring service for their loved ones pre paid funeral arrangements. She lived there for over 2 years and only had a handful of calls. When she was not available she had a network of friends who would cover for her. The agreement is she had to be home from 9: 00 p.m. until 7: 00 a.m. It was a great fit, rent free, in a beautiful 3 bedroom apartment, updated and with a huge outdoor deck. Not once did she go down to the funeral home. After she left, she saved quiet a bit of money, but another opportunity came her way with free rent, professional house sitting for executives who spent part of their time overseas. This was free rent and more connections. She did this for 3 years. By that time she saved more than enough to by her condo. The point of this lengthy response, is you can find creative solutions to your needs if you put it out there. Good luck, risk equals reward.
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I’m in the same boat as you. My parents and I never really have gotten along ever since I’ve become more of an adult. They find my disbelief in God disgusting, less involvement in the family customs disturbing, my investment in sciences annoying, and frankly just doesn’t see me as a their son anymore. And you know what, that’s perfectly fine. You are who you are. Your parents have done their job of molding you to become the person they want you to be. When you’ve become an adult, you are who you are now, your parents can’t really do anything major to change who you’ve become. Likewise, each and every individual has their self integrity to express and sustain.
As for the problem of moving out, all you can do right now is try to adjust yourself the best you can with your parents. They are your parents after all, so try to repay them back by giving some decency and respect for all the nurturing they’ve done in the past for you. Keep doing that until you’ve got a decent job. If you’ve got a really good paying job then move out to an low rent apartment or basement. If not find a roommate that you really trust to move in with and split cost.
I know you dislike your parents’ behaviour, and that I understand, but in order for you to move out and become independent, you’ll have to adjust and make some sacrifices until you have a sustainable flow of income. Money is an important factor when trying to move away from your family. Therefore, try to study hard and get a decent job so that you don’t have to worry about ending up sleeping in the streets. A personal tip I would advise you to do is learn how to personal finance yourself. Learning to finance properly can help big time with managing not just for moving out but also for future plans.
For now, sacrifice a little and adjust with your parents. Then when the time comes, say your goodbyes and then take your leave with a smile. Goodluck and cheers!
You have to have money unfortunately or lack of self love and respect. Nothing is free in this life no matter what corner of the world your in. set a date for your move out, give yourself reasonable time. get a job that will allow you to build at least 3 months living expenses and the financial stability to sustain being on your own. It is , or was for me, humbling at best, to have to go back home and ask for help or my room back. Be sure that you gain respect for your decision and not leave your parents wondering if you can make it without them. Youll hopefully gain a better relationship and even begin to miss them some.
As hash as it may be.
First do an account of yourself.
What is the real problem? – If they just ask you to help with house chores, maybe it’s time to ask yourself, how are you contribute to the feeling.
How old are you? – If you are 16 then just wait and do your best, work to pave a yourself a way to get out when you are over 18.
If you are over 18 then …
Do you attend college or school or do you work?
Do you watch pornography? – Cut it out.
Do you play video games? – Stop.
If you spend your days and time let’s say 8 hours a day, working on how to improve yourself instead of playing games and watching pornography then you will become someone who you want to be – you will be able to find a job quickly or create your own business. You will be able to live the life you desire. Just start acting on it as soon as you can.
Always try to look from 3rd perspective not just your own.
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You best bet would be the military.
Army–has a good track record of promoting minorities.
Navy–can you swim?
Air Force–most like a regular 9-5 job.
But, like your parents, they will want something in return for the free housing, food and clothes–obedience. But it is short term if you don’t make a career out of it and you will get job training.
How you move out can affect the rest of your life. I moved out October 1, 45 years ago, when I turned 18. The first month, my best friend moved back home, leaving me to pay the rent by myself. Needless to say, that month was a struggle. The next month was Christmas so the struggle continued. I’m retired now … and I’m still waiting for the struggle to be over!!! I will admit that most of the reasons for my struggle point to me (I’ve had some high paying jobs) but I think that I would have been more financially secure in life if I would have started my independence with money in the bank to fall back on.
Once you’re out of the house you probably will not go back so make sure you do it right.
Think of your parents as your landlord. The landlord will have certain rules … no parties, all common areas must be tidy, no loud noises, etc. Once you respect their rules, you might find their behavior changes as will your relationship with them. Good Luck.
You gotta get a job and start saving up about 3k or the bare minimum for a deposit. Then you will need to be prepared with pay stubs to prove you can pay the rent on your own without the help of your parents.
You’ll also need to find a place that is cheap enough for you to afford the rent + other expenses.
Then you just go for it. Getting out of your parents house is very very important. It’s just as important as you feel it is. Best of luck.
You do not say how old you are, or if you have finished High School. So if you are at least 18
years old and finished High School, you need to get a job and make enough money to pay rent.
Another option is to join one of the military services, Army, Navy, etc. you have to work hard,
but they provide housing, food and uniforms and sometimes travel to other parts of the
world. I came from a military family, one of my sons served in the Air Force, and two of my
grandsons are currently in service to our country. It requires commitment, but they are proud,
and happy to be where they are and what they do. If you aren’t old enough, you will have to
stay there until you can support yourself. Growing up is hard sometimes, so do your best.
Good luck with your life. It is up to you to make the most of what you have.
Don’t play two games ( “I dislike you but I take the comfort of home” can be seen as somewhat disgusting). Be honest with yourself. Get a job and work harder. Make more money. Go away and don’t forget to say thank you.